The point of good looking....

I will try to explain the use of beauty here:

To begin with I have no idea what art is, i have no idea what poetry is, I have no idea what abstract art is. I am kind of handicapped, or mentally retarded, when it comes to art. So, I will try to explain the thing from the point of view of automobiles. For the sake of an example I will consider my bike. My bike is a work of art, as far as my artistic sense or as some people might call it "taste" goes, how one can "taste" art is seriously beyond me. Maybe the oil and the colours have a taste, I'll try.

Coming back to my bike, when I ride my bike I am doing the community a favour, I am doing you a favour. When I ride it on the roads you can look at it and enjoy the sight and moreover I am the perfect person to ride the bike if you want to enjoy its beauty. How? Simple, I am not very fashion conscious, primarily because I cannot distinguish between colours owing to my damaged left eye. Then I am not very handsome, so when I am riding the bike there is a sharp contrast which just enhances the beauty of the bike. So , i have explained how I am the perfect person for riding my bike.

Consider this, say, a pretty girl has a beautiful dress, now if she wears it she looks even better. So, she should wear the dress more often so that people can enjoy the sight and be mesmerised by it. Same for a girl with a beautiful smile, she should smile more often. If a girl has beautiful eyes she shouldn't wear sunglasses.

Now all this might appear a bit vague to you, actually absolutely rubbish, but there is a point. You can appreciate beauty only when you see it in the correct context, so don't jump to conclusions. Now, coming back to the central object of this, my bike, obviously it doesn't appear beautiful to you. Why? because you haven't seen automotive art and thus cannot judge. I won't bother, or rather bore, you with the technical explanations about why it is beautiful. What might appear beautiful to you might not be beautiful to my senses. Beauty lies in the senses of the beholder. When I disagree with some one about which is more beautiful I never ridicule the other person for a bad "taste" in art, music or whatever it is. I don't want to know why a particular painting looks good because it founded a new culture, or school as they say, in the art world. I look at it and if it appeals to my senses then I will think it is beautiful, I don't want to look at art and bring out my history books to decide whether it is good or bad.

Oxymora not Oxymorons.

Few of my most favourite Oxymora :

AMONG THE FIRST

APPEAR INVISIBLE

AWFULLY NICE

BIG MINORITY

COLD AS HELL

DETAILED SUMMARY

ENTIRE PORTION

OPEN SECRET

Why don't they make the whole airplane out of that black box stuff?

We are not anticipating any emergencies.

May I ask a question?

Christ was born in year 4 B.C.

Thank God I'm an Atheist.

Seriously, you need to lighten up.

I always advise people never to give advice. -- P. G. Wodehouse

A joke is a very serious thing. -- Winston Churchill

A little pain never hurt anyone.

My answer is "Maybe", and that's final...

I never eat before breakfast.

A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe. 'Just lost a shoe?' she asked. He answered, 'Nope, just found one'.

A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe. 'Just lost a shoe?' she asked. He answered, 'Nope, just found one'.

Let's grow up once again....

Okay, by now all of you have seen 3IDIOTS and so have I. I have also gone a step further and made the unforgivable mistake of watching the dreadful cam rip, the reasons were many, I didn't find anyone to go to the hall with me :( and I was just taking a sneak peek when I just couldn't close it.
After having watched it :

1. "Your heart says Aal Izz Well and your mind says Ghanta Aal Izz Well".

2. You wonder how after downplaying Mr. PriceTag (Suhas) they sell branded 3IDIOTS merchandise at Pantaloons.

3. If you are a girl you want that red scooter and wouldn't mind wearing your grandmom's watch because the powers have spoken and it is all very cool.

4. And if you are a guy I don't really know what you might want, maybe the blue underwear.

5. If you are a parent with a child in engineering or medical college ( not school man...that is for the US) you might have asked your child about ragging.

6. I hope you haven't tried the salt water trick on anyone.

For me though the most important thing was the song "Give me some sunshine". Most of us would want to be young again. This has been especially true for me in the third year, not has a day passed by when I haven't wished that I could be in second year again. Second year in college was not all that good for me. Not that I really mind staying in a four seater room. If I were back in second year again I would have to practically share the bed with Hyperlink to Avishek Basu Mallick and his weapons of mass destruction. I would also have to listen to Anuj and his Munch-ing stories. Sadly we can't go back to our childhood once again but there are a lot of things that can make us feel like a child again. These things vary from person person but here are the things that make me feel like a child again.

Being a child is about being naturally stupid as you might not know about the dangers of certain things. So in a way being a child would be like trying to get yourself killed without knowing that you might. So here are my top favourites.

1. When it comes to getting yourself killed nothing comes close to a superbike, nothing. So for Rs.14 lakh ( to which I have saved around Rs.14.5 ) you can get yourself a Yamaha R1 which can kill you for sure.

2. You can go as a passenger on a fighter jet but that is almost impossible to achieve in India unless you are the president or something.

3. You can go skydiving.

4. If you have enough money you can go to Amsterdam for a wild night, no Las Vegas couldn't do it. It has to be Amsterdam.

5. You can get yourself a supercar or a hypercar.

6. You can get yourself a two seater Cessna and someone mad enough to sit on the second seat.

7. You can try to rob a bank.

8. You can lease an empty field and buy some explosives and stuff to blow up.

9. You can get a super luxury recliner.

10. You can go scuba diving with sharks.

Add yours..

This year I have resolved...

Disclaimer : If any part of this text bears resemblance to any post by any of you or your split personalities (read... fake profiles) then I am no to be blamed (you could try my brother though).

So, this year I have resolved :

1. To make resolutions at the beginning of the next.

2. Not to make stupid resolutions like :

a. I am going to be a better human. (Because for that I might have to qualify as a human first)

b. Study more (and then laugh at the resolution)

c. Eat more vegetables ( cause I'll have to eat more non-veg to get a balanced diet)

d. Drink more water

3. To never exceed twice the speed limit on any road.

4. To not make fun of people who have less hair on their heads. (Don't worry I'll think of something else to make fun of each of you)

5. Cut down on the amount of time I spend watching porn.

6. Spend more than half of the months money before the start of the month.

7. Stop that tummy (which has grown an inch more than normal) because I still don't have thee Rs. 14 Lakhs I need for that R1. (I actually have Rs.14 saved towards it)

8. Not to develop a further taste in art and music. (Cause you can't eat either of them anyways)

9. To try some Rum.

10. To live life as a non-smoker as I am.

11. To attend at least 2 morning classes in a fortnight.

12. To reach the class before half of it is over.

13. To place the mirror in my hostel room such that I pass by it once a day and get reminded to shave.

14. To get a date for Feb 14th.

15. To cut down on telling lies. (Of various colours)
So, I can still tell those black and white lies.

16. To arrange the closet in hostel so that I don't require two friends to standby when I open it. (They catch everything falling from it)

17. To become less of a voyeur.

18. To write longer and more meaningful stuff.

20 Things "About Me" You didn't want to know!

Here is the list:

1. I am 20 years and 9 months old (sorry, I cant get more accurate as I don't have the new calendar yet).

2. I was 5ft 9 inches when I last checked a couple of years ago, so I assume I am 5' 10" and some more now. (Actual measuring can't beat wishful thinking, can it?)

3. I am quite fair still some of my friends say that I am not good looking, but then there are always some who say that I am outright ugly.

4. I am not really intelligent usually as demonstrated by the fact that whenever I ride my bike I take the longest route possible to wherever I go.

5. Cogito ergo sum just the anti-christ of "tall, dark and handsome".

6. I was born in Kolkata (Yes! That is Kolkata for me and will always be, though I am kind of disappointed they changed the official name) of Bengali parents and was brought up here in the southern fringes of the city. So am I what one might call a Bengali?

a. I can't recite poems primarily because I don't know any and could never understand them when I was in school and secondarily because I occasionally get the words muddled up.

b. I can't eat "Ilish maach" because I am too afraid of it, once as a kid I went nosing around a tub full of them and one of them jumped up and bit my nose.

c. I don't use coconut oil on my hair because of two reasons, once I pricked my thumb trying to pry open the bottle and once it froze during the winter.

d. I don't use a mosquito net at night, even though it is very useful, because I can never get it orientated properly so that the right string is at the right end of the room.

e. I can keep on eating but unlike my mother (who eats little) I have no sense of the order in which one should work his way through the meal.

f. I almost never wear a "Punjabi and Pajama" because I am terrified as to what might happen if the knot came loose. But this shouldn't matter right after all it is punjabi not bengali, then again being a bengali is all about embracing everything.

7. I wear jeans not to look hip but because those strong double stitchings look reassuring.

8. I forget to shave because the mirror in my hostel room is placed such that I never pass in front of it, and the mirror at home is kept opposite to the fridge.

9. I often keep wondering why everything is looks hazy till I realise that my glasses are dirty. I often have these panic attacks about not being ti find my glasses when I am actually wearing them.

10. In hostel I never ever take off my watch in fear of losing it, this is so severe that the part of my hand under that watch started rotting due to accumulation of water and sweat.

11. I forget to change socks because I usually have a blocked nose and don't get the smell of it till I am subjected to public humiliation.

12. I always try to race others from the traffic lights and give a huge smile when I have beaten them only to later realise that they weren't stupid enough for the game.

13. I am not afraid of Friday the 13th.

14. I have never had a girlfriend so I have always been lonely of February 14th, this state is not because of no. 5 above but because I haven't ever tried. (Yeah! That feels mighty reassuring. What a loser!)

15. I am a very good liar in fact so good that my friends don't know about it.

16. I watch movies alone because I often have to stop and go back when I miss a word or two.

17. I am terrified of using cliches.

18. I wear my shirts like a T Shirt not because it saves a lot of time but because I am so clumsy that I almost always tear the buttons away.

19. My things are not lying on the floor, that is where I keep them.

20. I don't have a fancy mobile phone because I only want my phone to have the ability of making a call.

I have some questions:

1. If soup was considered as a unit ( meaning the chunks of vegetables and broth together as one dish) do you drink it or eat it? (please don't tell me you ingest it).

2. If his name is Khan, then what is his surname?

3. There is this bike called the Bajaj Pulsar(very good one, no doubts about that), when it came out the tagline was " Definitely Male". So all the people who have been riding pulsars have been "riding a man". I know the long arms of the law cannot touch or rather molest you, but still!!

4. If "clothes make half the man" and you wear a Raymond's (for the complete man) suit then are you "one and a half man"? I wonder which parts of a man the "half man" would have.

5. Why did they do away with the suspenders in pants?

6. Would ingesting Pepsi/Coke and Mentos simultaneously kill me?

7. If all lawyers go to hell what happens when a couple in heaven wants to get divorced?

please put in your answers

My creations ..