The point of good looking....

I will try to explain the use of beauty here:

To begin with I have no idea what art is, i have no idea what poetry is, I have no idea what abstract art is. I am kind of handicapped, or mentally retarded, when it comes to art. So, I will try to explain the thing from the point of view of automobiles. For the sake of an example I will consider my bike. My bike is a work of art, as far as my artistic sense or as some people might call it "taste" goes, how one can "taste" art is seriously beyond me. Maybe the oil and the colours have a taste, I'll try.

Coming back to my bike, when I ride my bike I am doing the community a favour, I am doing you a favour. When I ride it on the roads you can look at it and enjoy the sight and moreover I am the perfect person to ride the bike if you want to enjoy its beauty. How? Simple, I am not very fashion conscious, primarily because I cannot distinguish between colours owing to my damaged left eye. Then I am not very handsome, so when I am riding the bike there is a sharp contrast which just enhances the beauty of the bike. So , i have explained how I am the perfect person for riding my bike.

Consider this, say, a pretty girl has a beautiful dress, now if she wears it she looks even better. So, she should wear the dress more often so that people can enjoy the sight and be mesmerised by it. Same for a girl with a beautiful smile, she should smile more often. If a girl has beautiful eyes she shouldn't wear sunglasses.

Now all this might appear a bit vague to you, actually absolutely rubbish, but there is a point. You can appreciate beauty only when you see it in the correct context, so don't jump to conclusions. Now, coming back to the central object of this, my bike, obviously it doesn't appear beautiful to you. Why? because you haven't seen automotive art and thus cannot judge. I won't bother, or rather bore, you with the technical explanations about why it is beautiful. What might appear beautiful to you might not be beautiful to my senses. Beauty lies in the senses of the beholder. When I disagree with some one about which is more beautiful I never ridicule the other person for a bad "taste" in art, music or whatever it is. I don't want to know why a particular painting looks good because it founded a new culture, or school as they say, in the art world. I look at it and if it appeals to my senses then I will think it is beautiful, I don't want to look at art and bring out my history books to decide whether it is good or bad.

Oxymora not Oxymorons.

Few of my most favourite Oxymora :

AMONG THE FIRST

APPEAR INVISIBLE

AWFULLY NICE

BIG MINORITY

COLD AS HELL

DETAILED SUMMARY

ENTIRE PORTION

OPEN SECRET

Why don't they make the whole airplane out of that black box stuff?

We are not anticipating any emergencies.

May I ask a question?

Christ was born in year 4 B.C.

Thank God I'm an Atheist.

Seriously, you need to lighten up.

I always advise people never to give advice. -- P. G. Wodehouse

A joke is a very serious thing. -- Winston Churchill

A little pain never hurt anyone.

My answer is "Maybe", and that's final...

I never eat before breakfast.

A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe. 'Just lost a shoe?' she asked. He answered, 'Nope, just found one'.

A woman met a man walking along the street wearing only one shoe. 'Just lost a shoe?' she asked. He answered, 'Nope, just found one'.

Let's grow up once again....

Okay, by now all of you have seen 3IDIOTS and so have I. I have also gone a step further and made the unforgivable mistake of watching the dreadful cam rip, the reasons were many, I didn't find anyone to go to the hall with me :( and I was just taking a sneak peek when I just couldn't close it.
After having watched it :

1. "Your heart says Aal Izz Well and your mind says Ghanta Aal Izz Well".

2. You wonder how after downplaying Mr. PriceTag (Suhas) they sell branded 3IDIOTS merchandise at Pantaloons.

3. If you are a girl you want that red scooter and wouldn't mind wearing your grandmom's watch because the powers have spoken and it is all very cool.

4. And if you are a guy I don't really know what you might want, maybe the blue underwear.

5. If you are a parent with a child in engineering or medical college ( not school man...that is for the US) you might have asked your child about ragging.

6. I hope you haven't tried the salt water trick on anyone.

For me though the most important thing was the song "Give me some sunshine". Most of us would want to be young again. This has been especially true for me in the third year, not has a day passed by when I haven't wished that I could be in second year again. Second year in college was not all that good for me. Not that I really mind staying in a four seater room. If I were back in second year again I would have to practically share the bed with Hyperlink to Avishek Basu Mallick and his weapons of mass destruction. I would also have to listen to Anuj and his Munch-ing stories. Sadly we can't go back to our childhood once again but there are a lot of things that can make us feel like a child again. These things vary from person person but here are the things that make me feel like a child again.

Being a child is about being naturally stupid as you might not know about the dangers of certain things. So in a way being a child would be like trying to get yourself killed without knowing that you might. So here are my top favourites.

1. When it comes to getting yourself killed nothing comes close to a superbike, nothing. So for Rs.14 lakh ( to which I have saved around Rs.14.5 ) you can get yourself a Yamaha R1 which can kill you for sure.

2. You can go as a passenger on a fighter jet but that is almost impossible to achieve in India unless you are the president or something.

3. You can go skydiving.

4. If you have enough money you can go to Amsterdam for a wild night, no Las Vegas couldn't do it. It has to be Amsterdam.

5. You can get yourself a supercar or a hypercar.

6. You can get yourself a two seater Cessna and someone mad enough to sit on the second seat.

7. You can try to rob a bank.

8. You can lease an empty field and buy some explosives and stuff to blow up.

9. You can get a super luxury recliner.

10. You can go scuba diving with sharks.

Add yours..

This year I have resolved...

Disclaimer : If any part of this text bears resemblance to any post by any of you or your split personalities (read... fake profiles) then I am no to be blamed (you could try my brother though).

So, this year I have resolved :

1. To make resolutions at the beginning of the next.

2. Not to make stupid resolutions like :

a. I am going to be a better human. (Because for that I might have to qualify as a human first)

b. Study more (and then laugh at the resolution)

c. Eat more vegetables ( cause I'll have to eat more non-veg to get a balanced diet)

d. Drink more water

3. To never exceed twice the speed limit on any road.

4. To not make fun of people who have less hair on their heads. (Don't worry I'll think of something else to make fun of each of you)

5. Cut down on the amount of time I spend watching porn.

6. Spend more than half of the months money before the start of the month.

7. Stop that tummy (which has grown an inch more than normal) because I still don't have thee Rs. 14 Lakhs I need for that R1. (I actually have Rs.14 saved towards it)

8. Not to develop a further taste in art and music. (Cause you can't eat either of them anyways)

9. To try some Rum.

10. To live life as a non-smoker as I am.

11. To attend at least 2 morning classes in a fortnight.

12. To reach the class before half of it is over.

13. To place the mirror in my hostel room such that I pass by it once a day and get reminded to shave.

14. To get a date for Feb 14th.

15. To cut down on telling lies. (Of various colours)
So, I can still tell those black and white lies.

16. To arrange the closet in hostel so that I don't require two friends to standby when I open it. (They catch everything falling from it)

17. To become less of a voyeur.

18. To write longer and more meaningful stuff.

20 Things "About Me" You didn't want to know!

Here is the list:

1. I am 20 years and 9 months old (sorry, I cant get more accurate as I don't have the new calendar yet).

2. I was 5ft 9 inches when I last checked a couple of years ago, so I assume I am 5' 10" and some more now. (Actual measuring can't beat wishful thinking, can it?)

3. I am quite fair still some of my friends say that I am not good looking, but then there are always some who say that I am outright ugly.

4. I am not really intelligent usually as demonstrated by the fact that whenever I ride my bike I take the longest route possible to wherever I go.

5. Cogito ergo sum just the anti-christ of "tall, dark and handsome".

6. I was born in Kolkata (Yes! That is Kolkata for me and will always be, though I am kind of disappointed they changed the official name) of Bengali parents and was brought up here in the southern fringes of the city. So am I what one might call a Bengali?

a. I can't recite poems primarily because I don't know any and could never understand them when I was in school and secondarily because I occasionally get the words muddled up.

b. I can't eat "Ilish maach" because I am too afraid of it, once as a kid I went nosing around a tub full of them and one of them jumped up and bit my nose.

c. I don't use coconut oil on my hair because of two reasons, once I pricked my thumb trying to pry open the bottle and once it froze during the winter.

d. I don't use a mosquito net at night, even though it is very useful, because I can never get it orientated properly so that the right string is at the right end of the room.

e. I can keep on eating but unlike my mother (who eats little) I have no sense of the order in which one should work his way through the meal.

f. I almost never wear a "Punjabi and Pajama" because I am terrified as to what might happen if the knot came loose. But this shouldn't matter right after all it is punjabi not bengali, then again being a bengali is all about embracing everything.

7. I wear jeans not to look hip but because those strong double stitchings look reassuring.

8. I forget to shave because the mirror in my hostel room is placed such that I never pass in front of it, and the mirror at home is kept opposite to the fridge.

9. I often keep wondering why everything is looks hazy till I realise that my glasses are dirty. I often have these panic attacks about not being ti find my glasses when I am actually wearing them.

10. In hostel I never ever take off my watch in fear of losing it, this is so severe that the part of my hand under that watch started rotting due to accumulation of water and sweat.

11. I forget to change socks because I usually have a blocked nose and don't get the smell of it till I am subjected to public humiliation.

12. I always try to race others from the traffic lights and give a huge smile when I have beaten them only to later realise that they weren't stupid enough for the game.

13. I am not afraid of Friday the 13th.

14. I have never had a girlfriend so I have always been lonely of February 14th, this state is not because of no. 5 above but because I haven't ever tried. (Yeah! That feels mighty reassuring. What a loser!)

15. I am a very good liar in fact so good that my friends don't know about it.

16. I watch movies alone because I often have to stop and go back when I miss a word or two.

17. I am terrified of using cliches.

18. I wear my shirts like a T Shirt not because it saves a lot of time but because I am so clumsy that I almost always tear the buttons away.

19. My things are not lying on the floor, that is where I keep them.

20. I don't have a fancy mobile phone because I only want my phone to have the ability of making a call.

I have some questions:

1. If soup was considered as a unit ( meaning the chunks of vegetables and broth together as one dish) do you drink it or eat it? (please don't tell me you ingest it).

2. If his name is Khan, then what is his surname?

3. There is this bike called the Bajaj Pulsar(very good one, no doubts about that), when it came out the tagline was " Definitely Male". So all the people who have been riding pulsars have been "riding a man". I know the long arms of the law cannot touch or rather molest you, but still!!

4. If "clothes make half the man" and you wear a Raymond's (for the complete man) suit then are you "one and a half man"? I wonder which parts of a man the "half man" would have.

5. Why did they do away with the suspenders in pants?

6. Would ingesting Pepsi/Coke and Mentos simultaneously kill me?

7. If all lawyers go to hell what happens when a couple in heaven wants to get divorced?

please put in your answers

My creations ..

How we came along?

No, this is not about how the human race came along. Though I would really like to know, if Adam and Eve were the first humans and if Kane killed Abel(thus killing 1/4 th of world's population), then how come we came along by the regular laws of marriage?

If you "Stumble Upon" the old family photo album, a happening which is highly unlikely since in all probability it hasn't been digitised. You will see that the people there are wearing pretty much the same dresses no matter what generation they belong to. A couple of generations up the tree they wore the same, read the same, listened to the same, saw the same, etc. etc. . So how come from there we got to here where you can't imagine listening to dad's songs or wearing mom's dresses? A few days ago I happened to watch an episode of "James May's 20th century" a series which you most probably haven't heard of. There James May, a popular television personality( some X Jockey, fill in X as you want) of GB tries to find out how the teenager and young people in general came along.

Not so many years ago what differentiated you from your mom and dad was primarily your age, apart from that there wasn't much else. Here are a few of the things that according to James May brought us along:

1. Nylon - It is a synthetic something that bearded people at Du Pont made to make your teeth whiter. Fortunately some fellow used it to make stockings and nylon took off . If you were a girl in the early forties you no longer had to wear the same type of stockings as your mom did. How cool was that?, really cool( or else we wouldn't be talking about it)!! Soon the started making clothes out of nylon and other synthetic stuff, you did not look like your dad any longer. You never needed to iron them and you could store them anywhere.

2. Nothing differentiates us from our parents more than music, so how did we get our own music? - In the early days listening to music was all about sitting around the radio(which were bigger than today's washing machines) with the family and listen to the local stations. Then came along rock and roll, but it needed to be carried you couldn't listen to rock and roll and your dads music at the same time. Along came William Schokley with his three legged insect, the transistor, it made radios smaller and you could carry around your music and listen to whatever was right.

Another great invention was PVC which made records smaller and finally led to the CD, which led to the Walkman.

One great milestone was the electric guitar, coupled with a kick-ass amplifier it was all that was required to make music. Music which shocked the world and shook it to the drums( or whatever)

, music which our parents can never appreciate no matter what.

3. Horsepower - This we Indians cannot relate to very much. For maximum of the early part of the century horsepower really meant horse power but that all changed when they started making cars, but that is not really important to us. What is important to us are Japanese two-strokes, they liberated the world they did, the Honda 50 Super Cub was what the world desperately needed, so did young people. Where it was sold it could be bought for little money and was enormous fun, sadly though it never saw the light of India( or rather roads). For the Indian youth it was much later that the Yamaha RX100 and the RD350(Rajdoot) came along, things were going fine till some idiots got licensed and our roads became miserable and now parent would not buy their children motorcycles.

This is all i remember for now... till next time.

YASFbQ

I have always maintained that Facebook quizzes are stupid and pointless, some which are worth taking are badly designed (or broken). So I have stopped taking Facebook quizzes and found other (equally meaningless) ways of passing time.

Coming back to the topic some Facebook quizzes are biblically stupid, here are a selection of the few... if you have any in your mind leave a comment.

1. "Are you smarter than Paris Hilton" - I know if I am smarter then Paris Hilton and I don't want a stupid quiz to ascertain the fact. I didn't have myself taped while having sex and distributed it over the net (most probably she thought the www was a joke and no one uses it), so I know I am smarter than Paris Hilton.

The above quiz was attempted by Avishek Basu Mallick..

2. "Are you gay?" - Say, you are gay. Then would you ever take such a quiz and post the results to your wall? Then the results of the quiz, it returned " you are x% gay", how can you measure sexual orientation in percentage. So, if you went to a pub or something and depending on whether the gay side of your brain is well nourished you would go back home with a guy.

The above quiz was taken by...no you guessed it wrong... Kushagra Udai.

3. "How sexy is your zodiac sign?" - The results usually hint at you being very good in bed and stuff like that. After taking this quiz if you meet a girl who you know uses facebook, you introduce yourself and quickly tell her your zodiac sign.

I can never take the above quiz for I have forgotten my zodiac sign. :(

4. "What stupid facebook quiz are you" - i will keep me mouth shut on dis one, yea!

5. "What are the odds it's not your baby quiz" - :-0 :-0 :-0 :-0 :-0

6. "Which serial killer am I" - hmm...if I don't like the result can I kill the quiz maker?

Since, I have given up on facebook quizzes a long long time ago please leave comments.

Rubik's Cube

Recently we had ANK'09 in our college. It was a technical fest organised by Maths 'N' Tech Club of which I am a member. Apart from many events we had flown in John Louis from south india, John Louis is sorts of authority in memory events in India, he has won many memory championships the world over and has held several records related to speed calculations and stuff. One of his most amazing skills is speed cubing which is solving a Rubik's cube as fast as it is humanly possible. It is a game where you solve the Rubik's Cube (that multi-coloured brick sort of thing you used as a paper weight till your 2 year old nephew dismantled it) using pre decided algorithms as fast as your fingers and hands would allow. The current world record stands at 7.08 seconds( approximately the time it would take a normal person to pick it up and decide which face looks the best).

So a few days ago I went and bought a Rubik's Cube which made my mom poorer by Rs.249(+1, I never gave her the change back) or 5.17 lts. of petrol( you will get the hang of it). It was made by funskool and thus followed the international convention the opposite faces colour combinations were the following - earth colours green and blue, fire colours orange and red, calm colours yellow and white. Then I went to youtube and saw some videos and approximately an hour later I solved it for the first time. Next two days were spent practising the thing and my best time so far has been 3:36, that is, in minutes. So I can go about telling that I can solve the Rubik's cube in minutes. Once you look at the algorithms to solve the cube you will understand that it is not really more difficult than brushing your teeth or driving in fact, with time it will become natural like sleeping, eating and routine like lots of other things.

So what's the use? It is better than many other things you will do in your time(which is usually free for me), at any rate it is better then attempting those YASFbQs( Yet Another Stupid Facebook Quiz, which are usually also broken) and is usually better than Omegle and definitely better than what you are doing right now.

So if you are finding it difficult to while your "time" away and want to impress people(I don't have any idea as to who that is worth impressing would be impressed) by a fast Rubik's cube solve, go to a shop and buy a Rubik's Cube and go to Youtube and search for Dan Brown's cube solving videos.

How to not get burned!

Shit Happens!! Happens all the time. Like wasting an entire day for a stupid driving test, only to find the camera is defunct.

But in NIT Durgapur and other allied national level engineering colleges, shit can happen in N no. of ways(that is an engineer's way of saying that it can happen in infinite no. of ways). Here are enumerated a few ways in which you can make shit happen in NIT Durgapur:

1.Start responding in class like a good student.. then the teacher starts expecting from you and when you decide you have had enough of studying... you are done.

2.You don't go to class thinking it is raining too much.. turns out you were the only one.. you end up getting an extra assignment.

3.You go to class thinking it is a bright sunny day...unfortunately the teacher thought the same and didn wake up.

4.You drink water from the aquaguard only to discover that the filter is in the dustbin..

5.You prepare to wash your clothes and find the water is too dirty to wash your hands. You end up wearing the same clothes and the rest for 2-3 days.

6.Some asshole doesn't return plates in the mess and you pay the fine.

7.You don't get your new ID card, cause you don't know where to pay the Rs.2 fee.

8.You go to take a bath apply the shampoo, open the taps only to find they have run dry. You are left waiting 2 hrs in there.

9.Before the exam the teacher tells everything is cool and you will pass even if you get 5. Turns out 1/3 of the batch fails the paper.

10.The junior thinks it is fun to make a prank call to the "National Toll Free Ragging Help Line", not only you get suspended your scholarship also gets taken away.

11.You cant use net cause some rodents have gnawed through thousands of worth of optical fiber cables.

12.You can't drink water cause someone stole a bloody valve.

add to these..

Banned

As the title of this note would make it clear I am not too good at naming stuff. Anyways, the government, more accurately the High Court at Calcutta decided, to ban public transportation older than 15 years on an assumption that they are more polluting. I would like the following things to be banned:-

1. TV channels like CTVN( a local channel in kolkata which has interviews with astrologers through the day), aastha etc. etc..

2.Teachers like some in our college, who make the learning process so drab and dreary.

3.The cooks in our hostels.

4.Silly fees in college like the Rs.2 deposit we have to make to get our new ID cards.

5.Newspapers which carry less news and more ads about inner-wear, sexologists and power capsules for males(sometimes females too).

6.Front quarter page ads on newspapers, especially the ones about Emergency Contraceptive Pills.

7.slow moving vehicles like the 60-100cc scooterettes (Scooty for you).

8. Drivers who have a license only because they had enough money to pay for it.

9.Reality shows like Rakhi ka Syawambhar(don't think I got the name right).

10.devices of deception like fake chinese electronics, padded bras etc. which only give a superficial effect.

I will expand this list..please leave suggestions.

Run-in.

So, I have started a blog (pointless statement). Since this is the first post you might as well be reading it, without boring you into the details of why I have done so I will tell you what you can expect after this. Here goes...

umm, since I am not too sure about that myself , let me tell you what you may not expect:

1) You may not expect Linux hacks and Windows vs Linux wars, partly because I don't use Linux(sad though, it rocks!!) and partly because I believe the penguin is a pointless animal with really small feet and funny looking hands.

2) You may not expect poetry because I am not poetic and I don't dream much(I am mostly busy sleeping).

3) You may not expect abstract writing because I can't find "point" in it.

4) You may not expect the day to day happenings of my life because it is majorly boring.

5) You may not expect long posts(No particular reason for this).

Apart from all the above you can expect a lot of information, stuff which you will find useful(only after reading them though!). Links to various resources on the web(stuff which I come across while browsing the web) etc. etc. ...

I will start by moving my Facebook notes to here... so the next few posts will be all familiar.

Till I come up with something new(don't think you will be back!).